ALIEN APOCALYPSE

Bruce Campbell plays Ivan Hood, Renee is Kelly in this campy post apocalyptic sci-fi movie.

A small craft crashes in the distance. Humans beat up on humans while a bug-like creature looks on.

Ivan, Kelly and two other astronauts have just come back from a 40-year cryo-sleep. Their pod crashed, so they walk up to Portland, or what's left of it.

They're stopped by a group of grungy farmer types with guns. They shoot one of the astronauts, who happens to slow them down, then chain, gag and take the rest to a heavily guarded saw mill.

Ivan, Kelly and the third astronaut are taken to "The Masters", tall bug-like creatures. One of the bugs quickly chews the 3rd astronaut's head off for he dared to speak, so now it's only Ivan and Kelly left.

They're put underground, where they learn from the others that the bugs came some time ago, bombed Earth, and now they send wood back to their planet.

Ivan and Kelly are made to work in the saw mill. Despite the horrid living conditions and the heavy labor, the astronauts' white suits just won't get dirty. It's a miracle!

Then one night Ivan and Kelly make love, then the next day they fool around during work, so the keepers hang Kelly up for a good whipping.

Ivan knocks the guards out, gets Kelly, who then continues to kick and punch the guards with much expertise.

Ivan, Kelly and a boy named Alex escapes while the others just watch.

They take Kelly out with a rocket, take her back to the saw mill.

Ivan and Alex go on and reach Freedom Valley, where they get more people to join them in search of the President, who is rumoured to be hiding in the hills.

Ivan becomes The Great Healer, gathers more people join him in his journey, while Kelly is slowly recovering back at the mill.

Then Ivan finds President Demsky, but he doesn't succeed in convincing him to lead the rebellion against the bug.

So Ivan goes on and saved the day, gets the girl, and rids the planet of the evil alien scum.

As good as this could've been, during the second half of the movie the whole lost its direction - and Renee, who only returns for the last couple fo scenes to chop off various alien appendages.

What works:

Bruce and his snarkiness.

Renee, in what little she has to do. If you have someone like Renee, why don't you give her something to do? Anything? She was MIA during two-thirds of the movie.

What doesn't work:

Everything else.

When you have Jo LoDuca to do the soundtrack, why not make him do something that'd push it all towards campy?

If you have a low budget and extras who don't speak English, play on it. Was it just one person doing all the lines for all the characters? Pretty much sounded that way.

The "special effects" and "puppetry" were horrid. If you can call it that.

All in all, typical SciFi Pictures movie.